


Ghostly Bird

by etherealciel



Category: Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 12:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3290462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealciel/pseuds/etherealciel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peace is what he needed; not cursed to roam the halls of the Wayne Mansion as a ghost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first Batman fic (and I also got into reading BM comics recently) so please do forgive me if the timeline in this story is not consistent because I have no idea when Tim approach Dick to ask him to become Robin again or when Jason came back (was it six months later after his death or...?) And this is un-beta'd if anyone want to beta the next chapter, please feel free to message me c: and sorry for the misuse of the semicolons in this story haha
> 
> This is a two shot fic. And warning: Jason swears a lot and you may have some uncontrollable Jason feels :D

Ghostly Bird

It has only been a month ever since he woke up in the manor, in his bedroom.

And the manor was –duly noted—so  _fucking_  gloomy. Of course, it would be gloomy since he did die a few weeks ago. Yes, he died a few weeks ago, at the hands of Joker and his  _mother_ —that woman. Ever since he found himself manor, his only thoughts were those days at the Middle East. From when he was searching for women that could possibly be his mom to finally meeting her to his mother betraying him to the Joker and watched her own son getting his ass kicked by a crowbar.

Jason shut his eyes tightly, trying to shove those memories back. He could distinctly remember the pain from the crowbar and getting blown up. Those two memories were the only things that were plaguing his mind. Maybe, just maybe, if he hadn't disobeyed his mentor none of this would have happen. He would be alive and kicking ass with him, going to school because he totally missed out on the science fair two days ago and he was never ever going to continue his happy memories with his family.

Because of one thing; because just one day he decided to disobey Batman; he should've listen.

He should've listened to him. He shut his eyes tightly, unaware that his tears were falling down.

Peace is what he needed; not cursed to roam the halls of the Wayne Mansion as a ghost.

-0-

The day he finally decided to roam the halls of the Wayne Mansion, he noted that it was so fucking gloomy. It has been a month since he woke up as a ghost but all those times he was brooding in his room like a normal ghost would, right?

And he didn't want to brood. That's totally Batman's personality right there.

Since it was night time, nearing the time Batman and Rob— just Batman getting ready to patrol, he decided to head down to the cave. He wanted to see how the old man is doing. Is he faring well with his death? Is he getting enough sleep? Or, or… is he staring at his old battered costume inside the glass case.

Reaching the final step of the stairs, Jason continued to watch his mentor, his father, his broken father staring endlessly at the glass case. He wondered how long he was staring at that thing.

Jason Todd; Good Soldier

Should he even be bothered by that placard? Jason thinks it should be added with:

Jason Todd; Good Soldier, Good Son

He frowned; was he a good son to Bruce?

"Hey dad, was I a good son to you?

Silence was his reply.

Jason snorted and started to ascend the stairs. "I guess I wasn't." He needed to get out, he needed his freedom, he needed his peace, he needed an "I need a cigarette. Can I even smoke?"

-0-

Jason found himself watching the news along with Alfred and Bruce. He doesn't often watch news with them when he was still alive.

Since he is dead he might as well start watching the news and he had nothing better to do. It wasn't even time for Batman to prowl the streets yet so watching TV might pass the time.

Fuck he wants to change the channel so bad. Right now he'd be watching teenage mutant turtles or something.

He continued to think about cartoons he would miss watching and listed all of the shows in his head. What brought him into reality when the newscaster announced that Joker is back in town and warned all citizens to watch out for the psycho.

That moment Jason truly saw red.

He couldn't believe it. Did Batman even tried to go after him after he had died? That lunatic should be dead like six feet under just like how he is. And yet, that lunatic is still alive and well.

"Fuck you Bruce!" Jason spouted angrily. "Why isn't he dead? He fucking took me away from you and you let him live?"

"..."

"Why didn't you kill him? Why aren't you trying to avenge my death you asshole? Don't you care about me at all?" Jason wailed loudly as he tried to punch his mentor but only to find his only fist going through the body. He became even more frustrated over the fact that he can't physically hurt him, but he continued to— try to punch his mentor after a few minutes. He sat there quietly, his head down as he could not face his mentor.

"Don't you love me Bruce?" He whispered quietly, now sitting on Bruce's lap. He broke down knowing that his adoptive father never loved him and even after his death. Was he only a replacement of dickhead Dick to Bruce?

After a few a minutes he found himself falling on top of the couch as his mentor stood up.

"Master Bruce will you be patrolling early tonight?"

Bruce didn't even say anything and that indicated that he is patrolling early. As Bruce heads down the cave with Alfred following closely, Jason grabbed the nearby controller and threw it at the large television. And he quietly sobbed to himself.

Fuck you Bruce.

-0-

The amount of times he tried to the leave the manor was over 100 times to nothing. And every time he'd try to go out, he's somehow ended up back to the manor.

All he wanted to do was leave the manor, get some fresh air and play with people. Oh right, he couldn't because he's a fucking ghost for fucks sake.

Jason figured it was must be that Robin—his Robin uniform inside the glass case holding him here. It was after all the last piece of clothing he wore since he died. And to think it was in perfect condition too…

After his little breakdown a few nights ago, he'd done nothing but avoid Bruce. It was funny though; it wasn't like the man could see him haunting around the halls but he doesn't want to see him. The idea of the Joker still alive after what that maniac did to him? The clown deserved nothing but death not stuck in his temporary jail.

Fuck that shit.

And so he found himself lingering around Bruce again two weeks later. There was nothing he could do. He couldn't leave, couldn't do anything he liked to do and he was just fucking ghost haunting the halls of the mansion. His thoughts of the Joker were pushed back into the dark corners of his mind, never once thinking about him again.

Jason silently watched his mentor vigorously type on the computer and the screen changing constantly. His mentor had been doing this for the past hour or two without any breaks whatsoever. Then again, Batman rarely takes a break.

He drifts off to the side, staring at the glass case again. He always wondered why Bruce ever thought of putting this memorial case up. Was it to remember the son he took in? Was it to remember the soldier he made?

-0-

A few months later, he's back at the cave, staring at his mentor staring at the glass case as usual. Seriously, it was Bruce's regular thing. Even when he was Bruce Wayne donning an expensive tux or Batman staring at the glass case for hours! Heck, his mentor could easily stare at the glass case all night if he just one day decided to take a night off from Gotham's streets.

And Jason couldn't even smoke. He can touch it, lit it up, hold it up between his index and middle fingers, but he can't inhale it. Son of a bitch!

Jason was rattled from his thoughts when he hears a scuffle of feet and he floated quickly to the Bat he was able to follow Batman everywhere, but not Bruce Wayne. How fucking weird is that? Anyways, these last few months, he has been ghost patrolling with Batman.

Let's just say, Batman wasn't exactly nice as he was before.

A few nights ago, Batman literally beat up rapists till no one recognizes their faces. Or the other night when it was just a couple of robbers, he pretty much did the same thing to the rapists. The other night, it was Bane he went up against and Batman just threw himself towards him until he could beat him up that is.

Jason could go on forever how Batman is recklessly beating up people. Or to the fact that he goes on to the point he was broken beyond recognition.

And that fucking scares him.

He knew that Bruce took his death pretty hard; but he didn't expect it to change his ways to catch bad guys now.

And he fucking hopes that Bruce isn't trying to kill himself, because he had died.

And he fucking knew how Bruce blames himself for his death, but he shouldn't. He could blame his biological mother for selling him to the Joker. But it's not like Bruce will ever now.

And he fucking wishes he knew how to help his broken mentor because he couldn't see him like this. Seeing his mentor throw himself at enemies and getting beat up till he was bleeding from all over the place.

And when he fucking landed his eyes on the Joker, taunting Batman, laughing at his dead Robin, Jason wishes that please, someone take that crazed lunatic out of here. Kill him Batman, just kill him.

"What hurts more? A—or B? Forehand? Or backhand?

He shut his eyes, memories returning of that night. No. NO. Not now. Not now. Bruce why can't you kill this madman?

And he knew Batman would never kill. It was against his morals. And he accepted the fact that Batman will never avenge him and never will love him as a son.

But when Jason continued to watch his mentor continue to punch the lunatic laugh after laugh; he was beyond horrified.

Because on Batman's face was a face of a murderer. And his face says it all because all it says, 'I'm going to fucking kill you; you killed Robin; you killed my son; how dare you say his name in front of me!'

Jason hugged his mentor from behind, slightly feeling the cape against his face and whispering, "Please stop," continuously, because he doesn't want him to avenge him anymore; because he knew he will unconditionally love his mentor even he doesn't love him back. Because he already accepted the fact that his death was his fault and even if Batman had killed him, it won't change a thing. He just wants the Joker to be put away for good, for life, forever gone.

As if Batman had heard his continuous mantra, he stops to stare at his bloody work and tears slid down.

Jason cried.

-0-

He completely avoided Bruce Wayne/Batman half of his time. Sometimes he did go ghostly patrols with him to watch over him as a ghostly guardian.

Jason snorted at that last thought. Ghostly Guardian, he wasn't much of a guardian really. At least, Batman lowered his tendency to beat up people till they were bleeding or going head on with an enemy without any sort of plan.

And now, he was in the kitchen, watching his favorite butler, his favorite grandfather figure, cooking.

He so wished that he could eat something of his.

At times like this, he would be sitting on the same stool like how he is right now, waiting for Alfred to cook up something delicious even though it was fucking very healthy but hey, its Alfred cooking and it is the best.

At time like this, he would be complaining, asking him the same question like, "Hey Alfred, is the food ready? I'm so hungry!"

Jason purposely said that out loud knowing that the butler wouldn't even hear him. He saw him froze momentarily, but he scratched that off as a hallucination. There was no way that he could make contact with him.

Because he really wants to talk to Bruce so he can tell him to stop being a fucking idiot and do you fucking job right and not fucking beat up people senseless because he lost him.

So when the butler whirled around, the spoon hitting the floor and a quiet murmur of his name escapes the butler's lips. Jason looks up, wide eyed as if he was caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.

"You could hear me?"

"M-Master Jason?"

Jason floated through the dining table and gave his grandfather an awkward ghostly hug because Jason can touch him but not vice versa.

And they continued to be on the same spot, same pose for the next few minutes before Alfred breaks apart and telling him that he could not believe that Jason was roaming the halls as a ghost.

Jason confessed his feelings about being a ghost and watching Bruce spiraling down to darkness; he wished there was something he could do to help his dad.

It was at least he could do.

-0-

Lately, he's been bored. Sure he could go outside, have fun, and feel the sun—

Oh, wait he couldn't because he was nothing but an ethereal being.

Soon, all of that was broken when Alfred finds him in the kitchen once again and tells the young ghost that his older brother of a dickhead Dick fucking acrobat Grayson was back.

"Master Dick wasn't informed of your death."

"Oh"

And he quickly dashed down to the cave, passing through the walls and soon he heard hear very loud distinctly familiar voice he hasn't heard in a long time.

Jason always figured that Dick didn't like him; a street rat like him wearing his Robin costume.

"—me? I left, so Jason replaced me, and because I left he died? No way pal. Jason wasn't me. I was a trained acrobat. I could think quickly in perilous situations. But why did you let him became Robin before he was ready?"

Jason watched as his mentor punched his eldest ward and yelled angrily, "Don't you dare blame me for Jason's death! Don't you dare!"

He watched his mentor's face contorted into pain and yelling at his eldest ward. And Jason couldn't help but flinch at every word he said as Bruce continued to describe him.

He sadly watch Bruce screaming at dickhead Dick about him, his recklessness as a Robin and how he was just like Dick and how Batman would have to fire him just like he did with Dick.

Oh. He'd fire him too…

"Why are you pretending to be concerned about Jason? You told me you resented it that I had adopted him and not you!"

"No, I didn't. I only asked why you adopted him."

"We've gone over this before, Dick. I'm not interested in continuing this conversation. I suggest you leave and give your key to Alfred on your way out." Jason watch Batman dramatically exit his way up the stairs. "I don't need a partner. I never should have had one. And I will never will again."

And when he heard a slam upstairs, he turned his attention to his older brother on the floor, hugging himself as he cried.

Jason hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder. This was dickhead Dick, his older brother, his predecessor and even though they never spend that much time together, he really wished they did.

"I'm sorry, Dick. Bruce is... having a hard time talking about his feelings. Because you know, Batman doesn't talk about feelings."

He gazes over him and saw his older brother froze on spot.

"Don't blame Bruce. If anything, blame the Joker or my mother." Jason chuckled softly, memories of warehouse with his mother and the Joker came up. He was a fool to trust a woman so easily, a woman he barely met. But he didn't care all of that. He was just too happy to finally meet a blood-relative and said blood-relative betrayed him. "I trusted her."

In the corner of his eyes, he saw Dick's head whipped to the side, as if he was staring at him now. Jason didn't know if he could see him or not, but he gave him a smile, a rare smile before dissipating on the spot.

-0-

Dick never left the mansion.

Jason didn't know if he should be happy or sad about it. He was pretty sure his older brother saw him. If not, then why the hell is dickhead Dick still doing here then?

He never really understood why his predecessor was so pissed back then. He always thought it was because he replaced him; he took his spot as Robin. Or maybe the strain relationship with Bruce. Or maybe it was both. Jason didn't know and didn't even want to know if his brother ever liked him or not.

He got his answer when Dick decided to check out his room with a gloomy expression. Dick was everywhere in his room from checking out the frame picture of the four of them all happy smiles to the picture frame where it was him and Dick and Dick laid down on the bed.

Jason gazed at his brother for the longest time, wondering why his older brother was in his room. Did he regret that they never took the chance to bond before he died or what?

With that thought in mind, he materialized and greeted him with a solemn tone.

"Hey Dick"

Dick once again was startled at the voice and stared wide eyed at the young figure across from him. "J-Jason?"

"The one and only!" He laughed as he did back flip and sat down on the bed across from his older brother. "So, how are you, Dick? Is life in the Titans still awesome? Are you and that red-head babe still together?"

Dick was too stunned to talk. Before him was his younger brother, his successor who died months ago and here he is, asking him about his life as if he had never died. He just wished that he was here more often for him. If he was here more often, he could've taught the boy more tricks and give him tips and be a big brother as he should be. And he was too late, because his younger brother is dead and now his ghost is haunting him.

Jason was stunned when his older brother's face contorted into an ugly crying face and listened to what his brother was rambling about.

"—Jay, god, I'm so sorry. I wish I was there for you instead of ignoring you whenever I was in a pissy mood—"

And Jason continued to listen because he knew his brother really did care for him. He beamed at his older brother because this has to be the longest time Dick ever talked to him. Seriously.

"And, and, I should've spend my time mostly with you because I know how hard it is to deal with Bruce. If I spend more time with you, maybe you wouldn't have died."

"Dick, shut the hell up. The only person you're only going to blame for my death is the Joker. I don't know what details you know about my death or how it happen or why it even happen, just please don't beat up yourself over this. I'm already watching Bruce destroying himself and even I can't reach him."

"B-But Jay,"

"But nothing, Dick. I'm just going to say this right now. Even though you never paid attention to me or give me attention, just know that I always love you, big brother (dickhead)."

With that, a sobbing mess that Dick is, he cried loudly silently wishing he could hug his successor, his little wing, his little brother. "I love you too, little wing. I love you so much (I heard that brat)."

-0-

It's been three months since Jason had a heart to heart talk with his older brother. And said older brother decided to stay at the mansion because Bruce shouldn't be alone at vulnerable time like this. Sometimes, Dick would join Batman during patrol despite his anger protest about working alone from now on. Dick and even Jason could tell that Batman needed a Robin.

"Go find a new Robin, Dick."

"Gee, Jay, you make it sound like I could go and pick up a kid and force him to become Robin."

Jason grinned at his older brother. The other reason why Dick is still in mansion is that he wants to spend more time with Jason even though he was a ghost now. It didn't matter to Dick though, because his younger brother is still here despite him being a ghost and how he couldn't hug him tightly.

"Well, you know how I've been doing some ghostly patrol with Batman and you. I saw this little photographer kid following Batman for quite some time. Maybe he's been following Batman ever since you, Dickie."

Dick pondered on that thought. He thinks he would have noticed a little presence following them. "Do you know who it is?"

Jason shrugs. "He lives next door."

That little photographer kid that he was talking about months ago, that kid's name is Timothy Jackson Drake or Tim Drake for short. Jason was surprised that little Tim already deduced everyone's secret identity and knew all along ever since he saw the first Robin did his flashy stupid acrobat jumps.

Dick sought him out first before Tim could convince the older man to take the mantle of Robin because Batman really needed a Robin by his side.

And Jason stood in the sidelines on how Tim became the third Robin, his successor. Jason wasn't quite sure how it happened; his memory was a blur on that part really.

It was a really random day when it happened. Jason was spending time in the kitchen wishing he could eat Alfred's cookies or even eat chilidogs. He didn't even want to hear Bruce yelling furiously at Dick about taking in a new Robin and Jason wondered if Tim will ever make it out alive down there.

Ten fucking hours later, Dick announced in the kitchen (Jason and Alfred were still in the kitchen for some odd reason) that little Tim is the new Robin!

Jason grinned mischievously, as Tim took a seat next to him (without knowing it) and Jason leaned his head against his hand and stared at Tim. "Congratulation, replacement." And he witnessed the kid literally jumped from his seat. "Being Robin will change your life, Timmy."

Tim could only gape at him, like when Dick first saw him, and he quickly nodded.

-0-

It was Tim's first night out as Robin with Batman and Nightwing. Jason couldn't help but tag along. He has been helping Tim train with the help of Dick of course. He wanted to see all three of them fight, because he never got that chance to fight along with Batman and Nightwing at the same time.

Jason sat on the edge of the building, watching his mentor, his predecessor and successor taking down the bad guys together and he couldn't help but watch them sadly. He's been following them ever since he died and yet he wished that he was still alive because he missed this. He missed the vigilante life, taking down bad guys and making his mentor proud.

Then again, if he was still alive, Batman would still doubt him about the death of Felipe Garzonas. It was very fucking obvious that his mentor didn't believe him that Garzonas was spooked out and he had fallen from the balcony all on his own. Batman would've fired him, just like he said he would. He wouldn't have that heart to heart talk with his older brother dickhead Dick. Jason would still have the same strain relationship with his predecessor. And Jason wouldn't have met Tim, that smart little nerd ass.

Maybe

Just maybe it would have been better that he died. Because if Batman had fired him, where else he would go?

Would he go back to the streets where he belong and go back to what he was doing before Batman ever found him?

Jason miserably stared at his vigilante family and maybe it is better that he died.

And Jason never noticed when Batman glanced his way before de-materializing.

How long is Fate going to keep him as ghost?

Oddly enough, Batman and company came back from patrol early, like three hours early. Jason was in the cave, waiting for them to come back as he sat on the floor by the computer. He heard his mentor praising the new Robin for a good job and ordered both Nightwing and Robin to rest up while he returned to his chair and heard him sigh.

Batman whirled the chair around once again and found himself staring at the glass case as he always does.

Jason frowned. Just how long is Bruce beat himself up over his death?

"Hey Bruce, I wish you could stop staring at my old uniform."

Jason was expecting silence as a reply from his mentor, not a soft hesitant voice saying his name. Jason looked up at his mentor as his mentor gawk at him.

"B-Bruce, you can hear me?"

"Jason, how are you here?"

Unconsciously, Jason jumped up from the ground and gave his mentor a hug even though he couldn't hug him as tightly as he could.

"How long have you been a ghost Jason?" There was that crackle in his voice before the old man could cry.

Jason sadly smiles at his mentor when he broke away from the hug. "Ever since I died, Bruce. Alfred was the first one to find me, well more like first one to be able to see me and talk to me. Dick came second shortly after you and him had an argument about me. Timmy came third after he was appointed Robin that night. And now, you're the last one to know!" He beamed at his mentor and he was floating in the air in a sitting position.

Bruce was beyond speechless. All this time, Jason was here all along and yet… "J-Jason, I'm so sorry I couldn't save you in time. If I had got there in time, I would have able to save you and your mother, but now you're dead. I should've stayed with you instead of leaving you alone that time—"

And Jason cut him off with a wave of his hand and smiled sadly at his mentor. "Bruce, please don't beat yourself up over my death. It wasn't your fault that I died. It was my fault that I died and I'm in this situation because I didn't follow orders. All I wanted to do was protect my mom from the Joker, but I didn't realize that both of them were working together. I'm sorry for being a failure to you, Bruce, as a son and as Robin."

The older man was too stunned to say anything. Just when did he grow this mature?

"You know ever since I woke up here as a ghost. I've been following you around like a lost puppy since I wanted to know how you were. I was fucking angry that you let the Joker live and because he took me away from you. And then I figured that you didn't love me enough to kill him and even if you did kill him, it won't bring me back." Bruce looked like he wanted to cut in, but Jason continued talking. "And as a ghost, I could follow you anywhere, even in patrols. I was there, Bruce, watching helplessly as you beat up simple robbers until all of their bones were broken or to a point you got so beat up, you weren't able to walk at all."

"And I was there when you confronted the Joker. You know, when I was watching you beat the living crap out of him, I was encouraging you to kill him." Jason let out a bitter laugh and trying not look at Bruce's face. "Then I stop, because that look on your face scared me and all I wanted for you to stop. Batman has morals and if he breaks that one rule by killing the Joker, he wouldn't be the same."

"And old man, I know I wasn't a good son, but please do me a favor and stop mourning for me every day. Stop staring at that glass case because that's not what's going to bring me back to life. Go and bond with the replacement or something. I think there's a lot of pressure on him being the third Robin anyways. And—and just to let you know, even though you don't love me, Bruce, I still love you and thank you for saving me from the streets because without you, I think I would've been dead years ago."

Jason heaved a sigh as if a heavy load has been lifted from him. All of this, he wanted to tell him months ago. He could his mentor's eyes glistening and before he knew it, tears were sliding down his face. This was the first time he ever seen the old man cry before.

"Jason, I don't know what you are talking about, but I have always loved you and you are the best son I could ever ask for."

The young ghost found himself crying and he pointed at the glass case across the room. "Then if I am the best son you could ask for then how come it doesn't say Good Son on it then?"

Bruce was slightly startled at the slight raise voice from his ghost son. "Jay, I didn't know if I was good father to you. That glass case I made, it was a reminder for me that I failed you as a mentor and as a father. There were so many things I wished that I could back on and made our relationship better. I don't know what made you thought I didn't love you, but I always did Jason, and I always will." He stood up, and awkwardly tried to hug his son, but his hands only met the air.

And Jason wished that his mentor could hug him because he really missed the warm hugs. But this will do for now.

-0-

Jason couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy. He realized that this whole time since he woke up as a ghost in the mansion, he'd been brooding around and kind of emo-ing around.

And then a lot of things happen in the past months. He got over the fact that Bruce didn't avenge him and found out that Bruce really did love him which made him happy. Because, the whole time when he was alive, he didn't really know if his mentor ever love him like he love Dick.

Then there was dickhead Dick fucking acrobat Grayson. Dick spent most of his time in the manor after Jason had a talk with him. The older brother took this advantage to spend more time with his ghostly younger brother and Dick really wished that he had done this before he died.

After that, Jason found himself a successor for the mantle of Robin. Of course, with the help of Dick, Tim Drake became the third Robin. Jason was surprised how smart the kid was and to think that he knew their identities since he was nine. And Jason blamed Dick for showing off too much when he was a Robin. Other than that, Jason also trained the kid, gave him a few tips, and sometimes pranked him or with him to prank Dick time to time. He believes that Tim Drake could be a better Robin than he and Dick could ever be.

Now, he felt like he was in paradise. This is the first time that Jason was surrounded by his family even though he's a ghost now, but that didn't matter. Maybe Fate intended him to stay at the manor forever or something.

But then, Fate has other plans for him.

Jason grinned when he heard a shrill cry of his name from his older brother. He could hear him stomping down on the stairs into the living room where he was chilling with Tim.

Tim could only gape at him. "You actually did it?"

"Of course I did, baby bird." He grinned as he came face to face with a furious Dick holding his now black Nightwing costume.

"Jason!" Dick whined.

"What? I thought it could use some more black. Besides, you're too flashy with that thing."

"Whatever! I have extra's back at my apartment."

That made Jason's grin falter. "Not cool, Dickie. I guess I'll have to follow you back at your apartment." He grinned mischievously thinking of a plan on when and how to do it.

"J-Jay!" Dick yelled.

Jason snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his older brother. Why did he look freaked out?

"You're fading." Tim gasped.

The ghost looked at himself seeing that he really is going transparent. What in the hell— all of the sudden, he felt a little icy as he keep disappearing and he overheard Dick calling for Alfred and Bruce.

Was it his time to leave already?

"Jason! Are you ok?" Bruce came rushing into the living room with panic set in his eyes.

Jason could only chuckle at his antics and told him, "I think I'm moving on." He smiled at his family, for one last time.

"You think? Jason, stop kidding around!" Dick slightly scolded with tears streaming down his face. It was an ugly sight to see his older brother crying. "You can't leave us."

"I'll make you proud Jason and thank you for training me too." Tim piped up, tears in his eyes also. "And I'll make Dick change his costume!"

"Master Jason, it was a pleasure to be with you again and I will pray that you will find peace." Alfred said, smiling at his grandson. He couldn't deny that there were tears falling down as well.

And then there was Bruce, looking devastated as if Jason died all over again. "Jason I am so glad that I've had this chance to talk to you after you died. You have put my mind in ease and never forget: I will always love you son." Bruce hesitantly hover his hand on top of his son's shoulder for assurance.

Jason nodded and before he disappeared altogether, "I love you too, dad."

-0-

And he gasped sharply and found himself having a hard to breathe.

Everything hurts, just hurts so bad.

Too much pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

He slammed his hands on top of the coffin and only yelled out the only name that he could only remember.

"BRUCE!"


	2. Lost Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason comes back with missing memories

This had to be some fuck up dream he's having. Is this some twisted afterlife? Coming back to life, crawling out of his own damn coffin, and somehow he's in the hotel room where Talia al Ghul had told him to go to with full of newspapers clippings about the Joker?

This had to be a dream.

It should be a dream.

Why— why is he alive?

He remembered taking the beatings from a psychotic clown right after that woman— his mother? — had betrayed him. He remembers the feeling of being blown up, jumping in front of the woman just so he could protect her.

And he should've died.

He should be dead.

Dead. Very Dead. Yet he is here, holding his official death document. He did die.

He shouldn't be here in the very that Talia ordered him to go after she had shoved him down to the Lazarus Pit. He could still taste and feel the water from the Pit rushing down his throat and almost suffocating from it.

He remembered waking up in the coffin and he dug himself out and after that, his memory was a blur. Jason couldn't remember most of it, heck he doesn't even remember how he got to be under Talia's hands. Just how the heck did that happen?

Jason Todd; Good Soldier

He frowned at that sudden memory wondering why he could remember a placard with his name on it and the description: Good Soldier. Jason felt his blood boiling and he never felt so much rage before. Was that all he ever was to Bruce? Just a Good Soldier? What about a fucking Good Son to that?

Jason silently cursed to himself, pondering why he was getting angry over a single thing. Seeing the placard; the Robin uniform, his Robin uniform in the glass case with that placard. All he could think about: wasn't I a good son to you, Bruce?

He gazed on the floor silently, his only thought of that glass case and the placard and wondering if he was ever loved by the man who took him in.

And these memories, where were they coming from? He didn't even remember when it happened and he wasn't even sure if they were real. Maybe the memories –that placard, glass case— are all nothing but his imagination.

"Master Jason ever since you died, Master Bruce hasn't been himself lately."

Alfred? Ever since he died, Bruce—hasn't been himself?

"—Jay, god, I'm so sorry. I wish I was there for you instead of ignoring you whenever I was in a pissy mood— And, and, I should've spend my time mostly with you because I know how hard it is to deal with Bruce. If I spend more time with you, maybe you wouldn't have died."

Jason could feel himself tremble. Hearing his predecessor in his head and apologizing made his head hurt. When he had taken his spot as Robin, Jason only thought that Dick hated him, resented him and avoided him because he replaced him, he took his name, his mentor. They were never close, not even close for his older brother to be even apologizing and regretting. This is all a lie. That memory is a lie. Dick never cared for him. This has to be a lie. It has to be.

"Jay, I didn't know if I was good father to you. That glass case I made, it was a reminder for me that I failed you as a mentor and as a father."

His earlier thoughts were diminished as soon as heard: "I failed you as a mentor and as a father." Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. What made him think that Bruce wasn't a good father to him? If it wasn't for him, he would've still be in the streets doing god knows what to survive and he wasn't even sure if he was able to survive on his own that long. All Jason ever strived during his stay at the Wayne mansion was to make Bruce, his mentor, his father, proud.

And yet…

He failed to save me. Jason choked back a sob, closing his eyes tightly.

"J-Jason, I'm so sorry I couldn't save you in time."

Just shut up, Bruce. You didn't save me in time. You didn't save me in time. And— Jason looked up, his eyes examining every newspaper clippings hanging on the wall and it were all about his killer, the Joker. He's still alive. He couldn't believe it. Why was that murderer still alive when he had killed him? Bruce had let him go.

Did he even try to avenge him at all? Did he even try? Did he even love him? Just—god why was that murdering bastard still alive?

He watched helplessly as his mentor continued to punch the lunatic, laugh after laugh to the point where he could see blood forming all over the clown's face. This terrified him greatly. He had never seen such murderous look on his mentor face and all he wanted his mentor to stop. This isn't him. Batman shouldn't kill despite Jason's view on killing the clown.

No. No. No. That didn't happen. Why is he experiencing these memories that he doesn't even remember? It's so vivid, he could see his mentors face, his face that distorted into a look for a killer and yet why did that scare him? These fake memories are fucking up his mind. He can't even distinguish what's real or fake.

Someone— someone had planted those memories in his head. How else would he even be remembering them without knowing how he even remembered it? Maybe it was Talia who did it; because it was Talia al Ghul he is talking about. Then again, he doesn't think Talia would have the heart to mess with his memories ever, since he is—was Batman's protégé.

Jason crawled to the corner of his bed and carefully leaned against the wall and hugged himself tightly. He just doesn't know what to do. Just one minute, he was angry at his mentor for not avenging, but after seeing—remembering that memory of his mentor beating the Joker into a pulp, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry anymore. He felt lost. All he wanted peace and yet Fate has other plans for him; to cursed him to roam the living once again.

He shuts his eyes tightly. His memories were playing in his head like a television with a bad reception. He could only get bits and pieces, but those were enough for him to know that he doesn't even remember these memories before his death. All he wanted to do was stop thinking about it. But it was the only thing in his mind that keeps re-playing and he loathes it.

Because he doesn't even know if it were real.

And if it were to be fake; he doesn't think he could handle that fact.

Because the first time ever since he came back from the dead; he felt happy.

.

He instantly woke up after hearing a faint sound of the door handle rattling and hearing the key switching the lock. On instinct, he was immediately on his feet, grabbing the nearest weapon he could find which was unfortunately a lamp but it could do for now.

When the door swung open revealing who it is, Jason felt relieved, slowly lowering the lamp and putting it back to place. He ignored the look from the lady's amused face as she closed the door and locked it. She sat in the nearest chair while the young boy sat back down on his bed and looked at Talia al Ghul.

"How do you feel, Jason?"

"Peachy, real peachy." Talia raised an eyebrow at him, as if she was expecting more of an answer than that. "Does—can the pit mess with memories? Or make up memories or something?"

Talia frowned knowing that the pit doesn't do that. "It shouldn't mess with your memories, Jason, nor could it make up memories for you. Are you remembering some stuff that didn't happen before you died?"

Jason wanted to lie to her face, but he decided against it. He owed her a lot since she was the one who 'revived' him and she knows more about the pit than he does. He opened his mouth to say something, but he felt hesitant. Should he even trust Talia at all?

"Jason?" He felt a soft hand caressing his arm and he met her luminous vivid green eyes and he suddenly felt like he was in a trance. He could clearly see it on her eyes that she really cares for him at this point on.

"I—I've been having these memories… but they show up as bits and pieces. I can't exactly remember every detail but I could get the gist of it though. These happy memories with them, they're so real— they seem so real that I don't want it to be fake. And when I saw those newspaper clippings about the Joker, I had this flashback when I literally saw Batman beating the shit out of the Joker. I saw the look of killer in his face, Talia. This… It can't be real. Batman would never kill. He didn't even kill the Joker, the one man who had taken me away from him!"

"But what scared me the most is that, I'm not even mad, angry or even thinking how to make Batman, Bruce Wayne, my mentor to pay of what he didn't do! Talia that psychotic madman took me away from him and yet I can't find it in myself to be mad! He didn't avenge me! He didn't avenge me, Talia. He didn't love me enough. I was only a replacement of what he lost."

"I don't know what made you thought I didn't love you, but I always did Jason, and I always will."

"No, no, no, NO! That's total lie, Bruce! Don't fucking lie to me!" His eyes flared up in anger; his memories were making shit up again. Bruce had never told him that he loved him. He was too unemotional available. He grabbed hold of his head as if it could stop the lies, the memories to stop showing.

"You have put my mind in ease and never forget: I will always love you son."

Talia was bewildered after that big confession and was torn on how to comfort the sobbing young man. She didn't think the memories that he doesn't even remember experiencing could drive him this crazy. The immortal slowly stood up and successfully hugged the thrashing young man as he cried on her shoulder.

"Shh, Jason, it's going to be alright." She cooed cradling him hoping it could calm him down. The daughter of the demon could only frown and felt her heart break for him. There were so many things she wanted to do for the young boy. Perhaps, take away his memories and never let him experience the pain he felt in his past life? This boy— it was the only last connection she had with her beloved and she had planned for him to return him to Bruce.

But seeing how the young ward is; she didn't even want him to back to his hands. Jason is already mentally and emotionally unstable with how his newfound memories are driving him crazy. Talia couldn't help but see him as a child who had lost his way.

Eventually, Jason calmed down a bit and she broke away and sat down next to him. "Jason, what do you want to do now? I could send you back to Bruce—"

"NO!" He shouted, wide eyed terrified. "I don't want to go back. N-Not when I'm all like this! Just please don't send me to him."

Talia nodded, as she reached for his back and rubbed it. Even though her plans for the boy were quite different, she knew where to send him and knew that person would willingly take Jason under her wing.

Talia calls the place the Hundreds Acres of All. It sounded really fancy to Jason and the place is one of the best scenery he has ever seen in his life. This place could not exist anywhere in the world at all. This was probably at some different dimension because even Talia or his new mentor, Ducra refused to tell him the exact location.

It's been seven months since Talia brought him here and Ducra taking him under her wing. It was rough at first because All-Caste is an assassins group and he was quite hesitant about learning under the thousand year old woman. She was teaching him to be an assassin, to be a killer and he didn't sit well with that. Eventually, he gave in because she is the only protection he's got from Ra's and he wasn't ready to go back to Gotham. He doesn't even think he wants to go back to Gotham.

Training with Ducra was hard at first. She gave him harsh training that he'd come back to his room bruised up and bloodied and to the point where he can't even feel his body anymore. It got better as days go on because he was kind of rusty and he had been a walking vegetable ever since he woke up from his coffin.

Soon enough, Ducra was teaching him how to wield the sword and telling him that his All-Caste swords are indestructible and can appear willingly if he is faced with true evil. Jason truly liked the idea of his swords appearing out of nowhere in his hands if he ever gets in a sticky situation and he began to wonder.

Would he stain his sword with his murderer's blood?

"Jason, are you feeling well?"

He snapped out of his thoughts and smiled at the guest he had been waiting for the past ten minutes. "No, I'm fine, Talia. Thanks…" He ignored the concern look from the heiress and he has to admit, he could never get used to those kinds of looks that Talia had been giving him. It was a look of pity, concern, sadness and love.

Talia caresses his back and gestures for him to take a walk with her around the place. "How are you, Jason? I heard you passed the Cleansing." She sounded impressed, almost proud.

"Yeah, the Cleansing wasn't that hard. Ducra says I'm the first human in a thousand years to pass it."

"Well, that is impressive, Jason. Even when I was student training here, I have never passed the Cleansing. I am quite impressed."

"Thanks." There was a moment of silence in the air as they continued to walk down the path until they found an empty bench by the training area. It was the usual place where they both talk and Jason was grateful that Talia took off some times from her schedule to visit him. He felt lonely since he was the only student there training there and the only human in the Acres of All.

Once the duo sat down on the bench, Jason heaved a sigh for the first time of the day and he received a questionable look from Talia. "After I'm done with my training here, I'm going to back to Gotham."

Talia raised an eyebrow at the young boy. Two months ago, even then, he still refused to go back to his hometown. She could see it in his eyes that he was homesick and missed his family but what's keeping Jason from going back home is his new memories that he never remembered having before his death. "This is a surprise. Last time I was here, you still didn't want to go back home."

"I— I need answers. I need to know." Jason couldn't stop his hands from trembling.

The Heiress placed her hands on top of his trembling ones. "I am positive that you would find your answers, Jason. I never told you this, but when you had died, Bruce became a mess, more violent and reckless than before. I was so sure that he would kill himself in matter of days since he blamed himself of your death. Months later, he came face to face to the Joker and he beat him till his bones was cracked and blood seeping out of its injuries. After that, he was less reckless, less violent and less likely to get himself killed. Whatever happened to him that night, I never knew."

Watching his mentor punch the living shit out of the murderer, he became horrified. Punch after punch, the only thing that was coming out of the scumbag was his lunatic laugh after laugh and the only thing he wanted right now was for the Batman to stop. His face was livid; his eyes were saying unsaid words and Jason felt helpless. All he wanted for his mentor to stop and before he knew it, he hugged his mentor from behind, slightly feeling the cape against his face. And the only words that escape his lips were, "Please stop,"

Jason flinched at the flash of memory; it made him tremble again. It made him slightly sick. He remembered the newspaper regarding the matter of the Joker being a body cast. He never properly read it though. "What happened to Bruce?"

"He became less reckless, less brutal and less likely to get himself killed." She noticed the flinch and knew he had sudden flash. Talia doesn't know the full details of his new memories since he refused to talk about it. It took her a moment to realize that Jason was staring at the manila folder she had in her hands all along. She handed it to Jason and watched him take out the pictures. "His name is Timothy Jackson Drake."

"—Drake. Call me Tim Drake for short."

"I'll make you proud Jason and thank you for training me too."

Flashes of different memories of the new Robin and the only thing that said were, "Replacement."

"Congratulation, replacement." And he witnessed the kid literally jumped from his seat. "Be a better Robin than me, Tim."

Jason stared at the picture before him of Robin with a grappling hook and looking fearless. He remembered a certain memory where he was training the new Robin with grappling hooks and he could never forget how he toppled over some of the things in the cave. He had never seen Alfred so livid before.

"I take it that you know the boy." Talia stated, judging from the nostalgic look from his face.

"I guess." He mumbled, continuing to stare at the pictures. He always knew that Bruce would replace him just like how he replaced the first with him. He dreaded that every day when he was a Robin after the Felipe Garzonas incident. Because after that day, Bruce refused to look at him in the eye, hesitant to take him to patrol and his mentor stopped spending time with him.

He was waiting for the inevitable.

A year has passed and it found Jason back in Gotham for the first time since he died. He could see, feel and smell Gotham, his home. Hello, Gotham, it has been a while.

It was about three hours since he arrived in Gotham and for the past hour he has been sitting on the ledge of some random building and eating his loaf of bread. He knew he was just stalling the inevitable, but still he was scared.

What was he really supposed to do once his feet first landed in Gotham? Go to the Wayne Mansion and be like,

"Hey guys. Guess who's alive? Well, I did die that one time but somehow something revived me, Talia found me and kept me for two years and then she sends me off to some magical assassin school which is pretty cool."

Yeah, fucking right. There was no way he could do that. The first thing he would do is demand answers first and then –he guessed— family time. It isn't like he hates his family; he just doesn't know how to deal with them and how todeal with these fake or real memories.

He never did quite found a compromise with those memories and the only answer he was given for said memories is that (and he quotes): "they are your memories of your afterlife".

In simpler understanding of what his mentor, Ducra, said (or her simpler rephrasing of said above quote): "You were a ghost, Jason." (And then she went off subject about fate and other things).

A ghost! Hah! That—that is quite a weird ass statement coming from his three-thousand year old mentor. Still, it made Jason's mind at ease with the new memories and kind of accepted the idea that he was a ghost before he was revived back from the dead.

But still.

Still.

He was scared.

He didn't want these memories to be fake.

He wouldn't be able to deal with it.

A year and half ago, after his little break down in front of Talia al Ghul at the hotel room, she taken him to the 'Hundreds Acres of All'. It was a sacred place for assassins to be trained at by the all mighty All-Caste whose purpose was to protect the people from the Untitled.

At first, he was hesitant because All-Caste was training him to kill and he had been taught to never kill from his first mentor. Eventually, he gave in because Ducra is the only protection he has from Ra's al Ghul who's going bat shit crazy over how his own daughter used the Lazarus Pit on Jason.

Talia still visited him, time to time whenever she could get the chance to get away from her father's radar. He was grateful of that because it sucks to be the only human at All-Caste.

Jason had to admit that he learned a great deal of things from his mentor, Ducra. She had helped him to see all of his memories through her mediation techniques and helped him how to cope with it. And for a thousand year old lady, she was really snarky.

When he finally put on his final piece to his All-Caste uniform, he automatically walked to the front of the sanctuary where his mentor, Ducra, was waiting for him. It has been six months since Talia dropped him off.

The place she dropped him was called, 'The Hundred Acres of All' and from what Jason knew, this wasn't on any map at all. He could be in a different dimension.

"Man-child, what could you be thinking seriously about?" Ducra had taken her mentor back into reality as he walked faster to reach her.

"I was thinking if this place is in a different dimension." Jason replied, hoping the old crone would finally answer his question. The moment he sees her sly grin, he knew she won't be giving up the actual location so soon. He was abruptly stopped by the site in front of him. His other All-Caste teachers were bowing down to him. The only thing that popped into his head, "Um… Thanks." He walked away after he bowed at his teachers.

"Wow. That really sent chills through these old bones with that soaring oratory." Ducra piped up sarcastically.

Jason could only roll his eyes. "You taught me how to be an assassin, old lady, not a public speaker." He heard the old crone guffawed loudly next to him as they continue walking down to the training area. "Between you and me, All-Mother?"

"Always."

"You had faith in me long after I had none of my own. You taught me that to give someone death is as intimate and private as giving him life. You showed me that past and present and future are not separate places—they are the All. For all those things and more I will be forever grateful, Ducra."

"But?"

Jason sighed as he sat down on the nearest step and gazed straight into his mentor's eyes. "I'm lost. I thought when Talia dropped me off here; I would've found my answer. I—And I haven't, Ducra. I haven't found peace with these memories that I don't remember having and they're still plaguing my mind ever since Talia revived my mind from the pit. It still scares me. And I thought with your teachings, maybe I could find peace but I couldn't." He sets his eyes down to the ground, unable to meet his mentor's eyes. He couldn't bear to look her. "I feel like I failed you."

He clasped his hands together, tighter than usual because he felt so ashamed. Even right now, just half an hour ago, he just passed the cleansing and he was the first human to ever pass. His head was brought up when he felt his mentor's hands holding his chin up to look straight at her. "Jason, this isn't about making you perfect. You may have flaws but that is what defines who you are. Do not give yourself a hard time because these memories of the past you don't remember. Man-child, if you want to find peace, once you are done with training, go back to Gotham. Find your family, talk to them and let them help you. Don't push them away."

He didn't say anything at all; too stunned to reply. Even so, he had thought up 'what ifs' of many confrontations with his family. The only thing he was frightened about is these memories being fake.

"This is just the beginning of your adventure, Jason. I'm sure you will be able to find peace with your memories and with your other mentor and your brother. Your heart is already shining brightly but there will be a day where your heart will shine even brighter and you will be glorious."

Jason heaved a heavy sigh. The words from his mentor is what is really driving him to confront Batman—his mentor, his guardian, his father. He needed to know the truth.

He gazes over the streets of Gotham, his mind going back to the old days when he was Robin. He'd like to admit that he did miss the life of the vigilante, taking the bad guys and receiving praise from the old man.

Ripping off another piece of his loaf, he popped it in his mouth and almost choked when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Hey kid, shouldn't you be at home? Your parents might be worried."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Of all the times he'd come back at Gotham, his first confrontation is dickhead Dick? It's a good thing that his hood is up and he really didn't want dickhead Dick to recognize him.

"My parents are dead."

"Oh."

Jason ripped off a piece of bread and chewed on it while his mind tried to calculate how far he could get away from fucking acrobat Grayson. He decided with his skills and with Grayson's skills, he wouldn't get that far. He could never outrun him, even when he was a Robin.

Stupid Grayson and his acrobatics.

"Kid, I— hold on a sec."

Jason turned around, curiously, to see what his older brother was up to. He grinned slyly, taking this chance to slip away by jumping down by the ledge to the balcony of an abandoned apartment before his older brother could turn around again. He was even lucky that Dick was talking to his earpiece with his back turned on him.

He quietly hid in the shadows, and he could still hear his older brother talking on the roof top. He could only get bits and pieces of what he was saying, but Dick sounded frustrated. He tensed when Dick had called him out and after a few minutes, he could hear a shuffle of feet on the roof and knew that Dick had finally left the building.

Jason heaved a sigh; he could hear his heart pounding. He still hasn't figure out what to do with his family and how to confront him. He can't hide from them forever. He tensed up once again, hearing the familiar roaring engine tearing down the streets and Jason could only wonder: does Batman know I'm in town?

The only person who knew that he was back in town is his second mentor and Talia al Ghul. So when the Batmobile continued down the street in high speed, Jason narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He knew that his mentor did not use the turbo engine for getting around unless something urgent is happening.

Jason climbed out of the window and to the rooftop and watched where the Batmobile was heading. And he followed it as accurately as he could. He should've ordered some grappling hooks from Talia before coming back. It was a usually the best thing to get by buildings by buildings. And he wasn't much of a pro at acrobats as Dick since he never used it ever again back at All-Caste. It only reminded him that Bruce was training him to be like the first Robin. And he hated that part of being a Robin.

He cursed when he lost the trail and scolded himself for getting sidetracked. He gazed over the road on the east, remembering the Batmobile heading that way. He didn't want to end up in the wrong place, but he had to take his chance.

He jumped roof to roof, until he stopped on the last building and quickly spotted the Batmobile in the alley. Jason couldn't help but grinned, bringing back old memories when he was little kid again and stealing the wheels off the man who would become his mentor. His mischievous mind kicked in, playing with the idea that he should steal the wheels off the Batmobile again for fun. Then again… the bats did add a new security system on the car. Next time…

Jason turned his attention to the pier with a bunch of warehouses which was usually used by bad guys to do their dirty deeds. It was a usual cliché place for drug dealers to receive their shipments, but Batman wouldn't need to use the Batmobile's turbo for this.

He surveyed the area closely, looking for any signs of his mentor or a bright blue insignia. There were too many warehouses in the area that they could be anywhere. Jason heaved a sigh and continued his search blindly. He should invest in some binoculars. Why didn't he get one from Talia before setting off to Gotham?

And as if Fate was on his side, he heard gunshots ringing in the air not too far from his location and he immediately climbed down the building hastily and sprinted to the area. Bang. Bang. Bang. He was getting close, the noises were getting louder and when he finally pinpointed the location, he could see flashes of light coming from the warehouse. Bang. Bang. Bang.

In the back of his mind, he hoped that they were alright. He surveyed the area around the warehouse and when he deemed it to be clear; he sneakily went up to the nearest window and peeked inside.

The first that caught his attention is Robin struggling out of the ropes while Nightwing and Batman were taking out the thugs left and right. He could take this opportunity to jump in anytime to help them out, but there was one person that made him freeze.

Jason heard a shrill maniac laughter inside the warehouse, all too familiar to himself and he felt a chill going up his spine. It can't be. The first time he comes back to Gotham, of all people, of all the criminals, he runs into his murderer, the Joker.

He stood frozen as he still watched the scene inside the Joker. He was still in disbelief, his mind, his conscious-self telling him that: this is your chance. Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it.

"Well, it's been fun boys; but I have other things to do, things to destroy, things to burn. You know the fun stuff." And it was followed by a shrill laughter once again.

"Nightwing, help Robin. I've got this." Batman ordered, taking out the thug behind his eldest ward and continued to fight the other surrounding guys.

Jason watched as the Joker took this window of opportunity to escape and he could hear his heart beating faster, faster, faster. He couldn't move when the clown made his escape to the door which was right next to him and Jason went completely still.

What am I doing? Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run after that psychotic clown, Jason!

It took him a moment to swiftly turn around and sprinted after the Joker. Jason could hear the faint warnings in the background from his family but he has to take this chance. He has to take it. Take it. Take it. If his mentor, his father can't kill the only crook that took him away from him, he'll do it himself.

The second Jason closed into the Joker; he tackled him to the ground hard and rolled until he pushed the clown to the tree hard. He quickly got up before the maniac can and god, he's wanted to do this for a long time. He punched him in the face. Again. Again. Again. Again. And again. He could feel his adrenaline rushing into his body like a tidal wave and every feeling he felt towards this murderer was met with each punch. And after each punch, the Joker laughs and laughs as if this was a big joke to him.

He felt a sudden deja-vu; he once saw his mentor doing the same thing before. He abruptly stopped half-way; his knuckle an inch away from the maniac's face.

"Hahahaha~ what's wrong hoodie? Why stop now when you look like you're ready to murder me."

Jason growled lowly. "Shut up!" He felt the hilt of his sword appeared in his hand. He can do it. He can murder his murderer. He can…

"Ohhh~ Hoodie? Where can I get the set of those magical swords? EBay?" His laughter was clouding Jason's thoughts. Slowly he lifted his sword, ready to strike at any moment given and stared down at the madman. All he had to was take his sword and pierce it straight into his heart. How hard can that be? He's just getting an evil that crippled friends, thousands that filled the grave and…

More laughter snapped him out of his thoughts. "Kill me! Kill me! C'mon, I know you want to do it. I can see it in your eyes…. Hey… have we met before? You look awfully familiar. Did we blow up a school bus together?"

Jason tightens his grip on the hilt. He could just shut him up right now. With just one plunge straight into his body and then… he's dead. Dead. Like how he was. "Shut up!" He growled and kicked him in the chest.

Joker groaned, coughing and smiling maniacally at him. "Hahaha, I'll take that as a yes then. We have met before! How interesting." He grinned wickedly at him and all Jason could do was glare at him.

Yes. Joker, we have met before. You beat me to a pulp with a fucking crowbar and proceeded to blow me up fucker. And now, I'm getting my revenge. All I have to do is…

But…

Would he stain his sword with his murderer's blood? Would he cross that line just to murder this psychotic madman?

He had always understood why Batman never killed the Joker. But ever since he received training from Ducra to be an assassin, all his thoughts would sometimes drift to what if—what if he would meet his murderer, would he take this chance to kill him? Would he take this chance to finally kill him?

Jason never really thought it through back at All-Caste. One part of him wants to kill him and the other just wants to be with his family, to find answers and to find if his memories were true.

He closes his eyes for a moment and drew out a breath before looking straight into the madman's gleefully eyes. He raises his sword—

"Kid, NO. Get away from him! He's not worth staining your sword!"

"Do it, kid! Kill me! Kill me! Hahahaha—you came back all the way from the dead to do this. Do it. Get your revenge!"

-high enough to hit him hard on his head with the hilt.

And the Joker fell to the ground.

He's just not worth his revenge anymore.

Jason walked away as he inspected his sword closely. To think the All-Blade would appear in his hand in front of the Joker. He felt his blade disappear slowly in his hand and he let out a breath. Tonight was his first night back at Gotham and it had gone hectic for him.

He should've just gone straight to the manor and wait for them to come back. But without tonight's events he would never made his decision if he should or should not cross the line to kill and get his revenge.

And before his family could reach him, he turned and made a run for it. After all of that, he couldn't—he can't face them anymore. He almost crossed that line. He thought about crossing that line. And with the training he received from both mentors, he wasn't going to use just to murder one man even if it was his killer.

He could hear a faint shout in the distance, "Robin go help Batman. I'll go catch this kid!"

And at the moment, Jason sprinted even faster while his hands rummage through his pockets for some shurikens. Because Dick is hard to outrun and the only way to outrun a vigilante called Nightwing was to distract him. Jason took this chance to look back and threw four sets of shurikens towards the vigilante and another. He knew his older brother could dodge all of weapons, but it still made him slowed down.

He quickly made a sharp left into the dimly lit alley and he quickly jumped to the nearest ladder and quickly jumped into the nearest opened window into someone's room. He was quiet enough not to wake up the stranger but he still looked down on the alley for any signs of his brother. Jason leaned more into the shadow as soon as Nightwing came into view.

He watched the vigilante blindly looking around the alley and eventually he heard a big sigh from Nightwing and he left. He was so close, so close that he could be just reunited with his family.

But they all saw me, trying to kill the Joker. How will they see me now?

It wasn't for another two hours that Jason finally leaped out from the stranger's window and jumped to the roof. Jason gazed over at the warehouse where it all happened and his mind kept replaying his encounter with the Joker.

It all seemed harder to him for him to go home.

Jason let out a sigh before taking out his cellphone and calling the only contact he has.

"Talia? I—I can't do it. I'm going back to Hong Kong."

"Wait, Jason, tell me what happen."

He bit the lower side of his lip. "I confronted the Joker and I tried to kill him."

"Did you?"

"God no! I didn't. How could I? Batman, Robin and Nightwing were all there and they were all witnessing me trying to kill the scumbag. I can't fucking face them after that."

"Jason, what are you worrying about? You didn't kill anyone tonight. You didn't cross the line. Just go and faced them. It'll be alright. Trust me."

He could just imagine the heiress caressing his scalp while comforting him. "I don't know…"

"Don't you trust me, Jason?" He could hear her smiling over the phone.

"…Yes."

"Then go to them. Bruce will never turn you away."

.

It wasn't long before he reached the Wayne Manor and he was pretty sure they were done patrolling the city. After all, it is six in the morning and he has not slept at all. Jason could've gotten here earlier, but he went to the nearest coffee shop for some coffee and bread. He needs his bread.

He stared at the door, long and hard, wondering if he should just go buy a plane ticket to Hong Kong right now. He heard they had some good bread over there. Hmm… But I do miss Alfred's homemade bread…

Before he even lifts his hand to knock on the door, it suddenly opened revealing his favorite butler and his favorite person in the world.

"Sir, how may I help you?" Alfred inquired, with his usual polite pose and with his indifferent face.

The smell of the Wayne Mansion overwhelmed him completely and flashes of his childhood appeared in his head. He was home. He was finally home. And Jason took his grandfather figure into a tight hug and realized how longed he wanted to do this.

"I miss you so much, old man!" He could feel the butler's hand peeling off his hood and a sharp gasp.

With a shaky voice, "My word! Master Jason!"

"Alfred! Tim needs your help. He got captured and I think he might've sprained his—" Dick came into a halt when he noticed another presence in the entrance. He immediately recognized the clothes from three hours ago who crazily went after the Joker, but when he sees the kid letting go of the Butler, Dick froze on the spot. It couldn't be.

Jason didn't realize his older brother was in the same room until now.

"Jason?" He could only stare at his older brothers as he slowly approach him. Jason stared straight into his older brother's widening eyes and shocked was sketched all over his facial expression.

"Jason? It's you right?" Dick inquired hopefully. He poked his little brother in the cheek and again for assurance that he wasn't hallucinating or seeing a ghost. "You feel so real…"

"I am real, you nutjob." Jason swatted his hand away and glared. "And what does that supposed to mean?"

And before he knew it, Jason felt himself being dragged away quite forcefully by Dick and he was immediately headed down to the Batcave. Once he reached the last step into the Batcave, he felt a wave of nostalgia hit over him. He remembered when he first wore his Robin suit; the first time he scared Alfred witless and yet he couldn't scare Bruce. Wearing the Robin suit for the first time ever, it was the best day of his life.

"Bruce. Tim. Look who it is!"

Bruce froze the instant his crystal blues landed on the boy, recognizing him, the clothes, his son. Tim was too busy gawking wondering to himself if he was real or not.

Tim was the first to approach him, despite the wrist injury, quite hesitantly before poking him in the chest. And again on the shoulders and on the cheek. "You're… you're not a ghost anymore. How were you able to materialize like this Jay?"

"What?" Jason looked up at his successor. He was unable to process the information as he could only think is: ghost. Could what Ducra told him is true? "What do you mean by that?" He demanded albeit too harshly.

The gun-metal blues of Tim widens by the demand as did Dick and Bruce. "Jason… you don't remember all those times we spent together when you were a ghost?"

"I—" He paused. Jason does remember and that's the only reason why he is here now. "I kind of do remember." He replied slowly. His heart started to beat faster and his only thoughts were about those memories how they might be real. All this time… he could've—

Jason was distracted by the sudden outburst from Dick. "Jay, that time when I saw you, you were a ghost. Because of you, I was able to reconcile with Bruce after that big stupid fight but most of all, I got you to forgive me for being the worst brother ever." He watched Dick's face contort into an ugly crying face; a rare sight to see. Jason could only watch dumbfounded and somehow this felt very deja-vu ish to him.

"You even congratulated me when I first made to be a Robin. You popped out of nowhere and told me to be the 'best Robin'." Tim piped up, cheekily. "Without you, I wouldn't have gotten over my fear of heights." It was the first time Jason seen the replacement in person and realized how did a scrawny kid turn into a more leaner, a little bit of muscles here and there type of guy?

Jason snorted, "Yeah because you refused to go grappling in the streets and we had to use the cave as a practice ground."

Tim glanced at him sideways before inquiring, "How were you able to come back, Jason?"

"I crawled out of my coffin, hanged out in Gotham for two years before Talia found me and shoved me a year later at the Pit." Jason explained, nonchalantly. Silence hung over the air and he wondered if he had said something wrong.

"It is Jason!" Dick claimed once again before engulfing the once lost ghostly boy into his arm and Jason returned it awkwardly.

This is the first time that he ever hugged his predecessor before. Back then, they weren't this close to even hug each other but now Jason felt a tingly warm feeling inside and he somehow felt as if he had done this before.

Jason felt his older brother's body freeze before pulling away and Dick grasped his shoulders and looking him into his eyes. "Jason, you were there tonight, weren't you? You were the one who took down Joker." It was more of a statement than a question.

And Jason felt his heartbeat going faster and faster, thinking he might have a heart attack. So many things were running through his mind and for one thing, it was only the recent events he kept thinking about.

"I—" Jason was too speechless to even say anything. He didn't know what to say. Yes, he almost went through with his revenge because he had the window of opportunity to take out the scumbag for good, but he didn't. "I— I didn't mean— Yes, I did wanted to kill him, the Joker, to get rid of the evil scumbag and to go through with my revenge."

Bruce took this chance to step forward and wiped any tears falling down from his son's face. "But you didn't kill him, Jason. You had an opportunity but you walked away."

"B-Bruce! I… I almost killed him. I almost went against your morals. Don't you hate me for that?" Jason now felt his tears trickling down from his eyes. And before the young boy knew it, he was pulled into a hug, from his mentor, his father. This was the only thing he wanted to do; he yearned to do ever since he came back to life.

"I could never hate you, Jason. You are my son. I am sorry that you had to face him on your first night back." The older man hugged his son even tighter, because his boy went through so much, suffered so much.

There was no words exchange as Jason savors the moment because Talia was right. Bruce would never turn him away and all this time, he was thinking his plan B if things went wrong.

And all this time, he could've gone straight home with his family from the very beginning.

"Welcome back home, Jason."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to RHatO#5 and Under the Red Hood for the dialogues. Anyways guys... I am sorry if the ending felt rushed... because I did rush through it and ugh I kept changing the chapter every time I look at it. And I am forever unsatisfied by the ending. I am sorry again. Originally, I was planning to have Jay to be killed again because I'm cruel like that but Jason deserve all of the happy endings. I'm sorry if I disappoint you with my 2nd chapter. Originally, this story was suppose to be really humorous but instead I just turned it into an angst fest. But no worries guys, I'm writing another one-shot; featuring all of the Batfamily (+Outlaws) and another one but I'm not really too sure if I want to write it anymore tho. I think it might turn into a drabble, a very angst drabble. haha. Peace out guys!


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